


너와 영원히 숨 쉴 수 있도록

by cenji



Category: A.cian, Big Flo (Band), The Unit: Idol Rebooting Project (TV)
Genre: M/M, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 14:24:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13436673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cenji/pseuds/cenji
Summary: 'Seunghyun doesn't ever want to meet them. He'd decided as much a few months back when the injuries became more frequent again and more severe. The Fates must be wrong. That or this 'thing' is something else and the shaman his mum took him to that day after the near car accident was wrong. His soulmate can't be some gangster.'





	너와 영원히 숨 쉴 수 있도록

When Seunghyun is eleven, he wakes up with a bruise on his shin. It's a pool of purples and blues, oozing from a little under his knee on down to his ankle. It's tender when Seunghyun experimentally presses his fingers in to it. He watches the colour of his skin change around the pads of his fingers until the pain makes him wince and he remembers he has to be getting ready for school. As he folds down his cloud patterned quilt in the dribbling light of the chilly spring morning, he wonders what on earth he could have been dreaming about for that to have happened. It must have been wild. 

In the course of things, he doesn't mention it to his parents. Mornings are always a rush and, in any case, his mum might start worrying about him. Throughout the day, he's aware of the rough fabric of his school slacks brushing over the sensitive skin. When he checks at lunch, though, it's half-faded already, and so it fades from his mind within days. Nothing about soulmates occurs to him until the third time it happens, two weeks later. 

Seunghyun wonders if some girl out there is OK. Maybe she's just outstandingly clumsy. He hopes that's it. He finally brings up his worries with his parents one evening over dinner, but they tell him it's impossible. He's too young and, besides, how can he think about soulmates when his history project is sitting unfinished on his desk? The only one of his friends who seems open to the idea is Hyukjin. He assesses Seunghyun's bruises one more time, throws down his pencil case and, with a deep sigh, concludes that he's jealous Seunghyun's going to have a girlfriend soon. That reminds Seunghyun that, when you get down to it, Hyukjin is dumb and him believing Seunghyun is probably proof that the idea was dumb from the start. He tells himself to stop thinking about it and move on, although that doesn't make anything go away.

XXX

His parents know he's not one to start fist fights and he's promised them countless times that he's not being bullied. But they doubt. He knows they do. Every time he comes home with a black eye or a cut lip, a limp in his step or bruises on his ribs, he sees the tightness in his dad's jaw, hears the strain around his mum's 'And how was your day, Dear?' On rare occasion, he's brought up the soulmate thing again. They conceded it was a possibility. However, it's not the normal sort of soulmate mark. Certainly none of the neighbours had this sort of 'issue'. They let it lie and leave Seunghyun to deal with his problems as he has been. His phantom injuries always melt from existence eventually, as if they were never there, so Sunghyun supposes that's fine. 

One Saturday when he's fifteen, they're all driving to his aunt's house in the suburbs. It's a hazy, dazzling summer morning - fresh compared to the heat it promises later in the day. Seunghyun dozes as they pass through drab, sluggish streets. The lights have just turned green when he cries out in pain, involuntarily lurching to the side, his seatbelt snapping around his neck. His dad swerves and nearly causes an accident. Seunghyun is too woozy to notice, too fascinated by the blood pumping from his nose. Later on, his mum will find one of his teeth down by the handbrake. Even after he's got his shiny new fake, Seunghyun keeps the old tooth in a battered tin with Snoopy on the lid. It's a sort of momento. The person he's supposed to fall in love with has already knocked one of his teeth out, and is that any way to start a relationship?

XXX

On the bus home, Seunghyun buries as much of himself as he can in the scratchy purple scarf emblazoned with his hagwon's insignia. His jaw aches. It has for two days. Three solid hours of vocal practice haven't helped matters. But their teacher has entrusted him with a big part for their Christmas show, so it can't be helped. There are so many kids more talented than him at their music school, he has to repay her confidence in him by being perfect. 

He takes the hot pack from his coat pocket and squirrels it under his scarf, pressing it to his skin to try to ease the pain. God, he doesn't remember the last time it was this bad. It it weren't for the stinging pain in is knuckles, he'd worry a lot more about this kid, whoever she or he is. But no, the bastard clearly gives as much as they get. Seunghyun doesn't ever want to meet them. He'd decided as much a few months back when the injuries became more frequent again and more severe. The Fates must be wrong. That or this 'thing' is something else and the shaman his mum took him to that day after the near car accident was wrong. His soulmate can't be some gangster. With the amount Seunghyun's been through thanks to this person, he doesn't think he'd be able to forgive them were they the nicest gangster in Korea - the romantic in him has long since retreated. 

When he's just gotten off the bus and is struggling with the cord of his earphones, he ends up stubbing his toe on a streetpost, his tatty trainers providing bugger all protection. He limps home, each and every muscle from his jaw all down to his stupid throbbing toes growing stiff and sore in the frigid cold. He mutters curse words that disappear on the clouds of his breath. The only thing warming Seunghyun's heart is the thought that, somewhere out there, that punk's punkass toe is feeling it too. 

XXX

The bruises trail him into college. In fact, they appear more often. Whereas before there were spells when they were every day and others when they barely happened, now it seems every morning there's something new to greet him. His ribs are a permanent sea of deep blotches, as if gelatinous creatures have risen up through the aether, taking residence beneath his skin, gnawing away at his nerves... It's getting to him just a tad. 

His new room mate, Euijin, is fascinated by the situation. Euijin has a far more standard soulmate mark - a little black grandfather clock inked on to his palm, slowly ticking down the days, weeks and years until he crosses paths with his true love. Perhaps it's the laid-back, unhurried feeling this affords him, that helps him convince Seunghyun that he really ought to experiment. It's eight years and he still doesn't know for sure if this works both ways. When Euijin puts it like that, Seunghyun is speechless. It feels like the older boy is mocking him, yet it had never occurred to Seunghyun to go about things any differently than he had. Whatever experiment his room mate came up with, it could never prove anything 100% after all. 

That being said, after a couple more beers and in a smoky daze at 2am in their tiny dorm room, it's somehow the most obvious thing in the world that he should let Euijin climb into his lap and leave hickeys down his neck and chest, sucking and biting the tender skin until Seunghyun hisses and tugs Euijin's bleached blond hair. 

The bruises do stop after that night. For a few days anyway. It's almost enough to make the embarrassment worth it. (Not that Euijin's embarrassed - quite the contrary. Seunghyun finds him the next day relating the whole story to a delighted Sanghyun over coffee in the students' union). And Seunghyun worries a little less about that punk he doesn't know. If he'd suspected they could have been shamed out of fighting so easily, he would have tried it earlier. The kid might not be so awful. At least, not so bad that Seunghyun'll have to run and hide when they finally meet.

It'll be just over a month before he takes all of this back. 

XXX

It's already started again. Seunghyun has a premonition of something horrible. Nevertheless, he put much of that down to his own nerves. The mysterious sting in his knuckles was one thing, but his racing heart whenever he thought about the upcoming show was another entirely. He and a few of his classmates will be singing at the school festival. They'll be able to get credit for this, so it has to sound perfect. The whole thing'll be videoed as well, so they ought to look perfect as well. Seunghyun's had to diet out of fear of looking like an acne ridden potato on stage and having it be recorded for posterity. Now, it's not as though Seunghyun is completely lacking muscles or a stranger to exercise. But with how busy they are preparing, his diet in the last fortnight has naturally ended up primarily consisting of green tea and tangerines filched from Sangil's seemingly bottomless backpack. 

All this being so, once the performance is over, Seunghyun goes a bit overboard stress-eating his way through their celebration party. It went well, the audience enjoyed it and gave them a lot of applause. But it could have gone so much better. Seunghyun can't help it that he keeps rolling those parts over and over in his mind - every spot where they fell short, were imperfect, and why and how to fix it and what it means. And god, he's on to his third slice of pizza - not to mention the beer and just about a bird's worth of chicken - and he's still ravenous. Whether that's genuine hunger or the aftereffects of adrenaline fucking with him he neither knows nor cares as he takes another gulp of beer and reaches for the last chicken wing before Chaejin can nab it. 

The first punch hits him square in the stomach. He falls back in his chair. Spirals of pain radiate through his gut, momentarily blinding him. The chicken falls from his hand and he knocks his glass over. He's winded. But he's OK. He's shaken off worse over the years. Except that a second punch follows, too fast for him to have recovered. It crunches into the same spot, with even more force, and waves of nausea crash over him. Kyungtak is leaning over him, concerned words spilling from his lips that Seunghyun can't understand. The last thing he remembers is vomiting across his friend's shirt. Then darkness slams down on him. 

XXX 

The hospital is busy. It's a Friday night, a warm spring hovers outside the air-conditioned block. Inside there are drunks and traffic accidents and feverish kids sleeping or playing with their phones while their parent frets. The din swills around Seunghyun, who feels like he's been repeatedly runover by a tractor. 

"Here," Euijin says, snapping him out of his daze. He hands Seunghyun a bottle of water, ice-cold from the vending machine. Seunghyun holds it against his temple and sighs, shivering in relief. "Kyungtak and his friend already left for their dorm," Euijin explains. His cat-like smile is there and, although Seunghyun knows perfectly well Euijin worries about him, it's reassuring to see him acting like this isn't such a big deal. "How are you feeling?"

Seunghyun shrugs. His throat is parched and raw, but he doesn't trust the ice-water on his stomach just yet. In any case, there's no way to answer Euijin's question. Seunghyun can't articulate this - the pain, the shame, all of it. If he moves his head or neck at all, he sees stars and the nausea comes back. An ache spreads out from his nose through every minute muscle of his face. Euijin told him it was still bleeding when he'd arrived after Kyungtak's phone call. Whoever the fuck Seunghyun's soulmate is, he hates their guts. Hates them all over again, just as much as he ever did. Yet he still wouldn't wish this on them. This is worse than anything. Euijin squeezes his shoulder. 

"OK, I got it," he mumbles, smile faltering for a fleeting moment. "Listen, they prescribed you something against swelling and stuff. There's a list of symptoms that, if you see them, they want you to come back. The nurses know about your history though so... Well, anyway. I'm gonna go see if I can pick up your meds yet. Sit tight a bit longer, alright?"

Seunghyun waves an OK sign in front of his face as Euijin stands up and, to be certain, adds in a weak voice, 

"You're great. I love you more than kimchi loves rice, Hyung. More than dung beetles love dung."

He hears Euijin snort. Then he's gone and it's only Seunghyun and the broiling hum of the waiting room again. Someone behind reception typing. An office worker with his foot in bloody bandages playing candy crush with the sound up. A child snivelling. Two drunk girls in each other's arms, laughing and singing pop songs together. Nurses on a break, chatting. 

"I hope he's made a lot of money. Given the state he's in. Given how long I've spent stitching him up tonight. Honestly now, I sure hope it was worth it."

"I hope it wasn't. The reason they go and do it in the first place is because they think they'll make money. It's horrendous. Then when it's not the glamour and glory they'd hoped for, they wind up here and we have to spend our time fixing them up."

"I ask you... And do you realise, that kid I've been working on, he's not even out of high school. How can that be right? There ought to be more regulation, surely."

"Make enough money and any politician's yours. I'm sure the gangsters running these boxing matches have the mayor in their pockets."

Seunghyun, with difficulty, sets the water bottle on the floor by his feet. He makes himself look down, fancying he can feel the protesting movement of fluid in his brain. His crumpled shirt, that had looked so chic that morning, is now bloodstained, flecked with vomit, and stinking of beer and fastfood. Underneath, he pictures his stomach, the porridgy mass of bruises. Some haven't shown themselves yet - just cracked skin and blood vessels broken under the surface. They'll bloom into monstrous colour over the next couple of days, then drift away like blossoms, as his brain catches up to the reality of no one having beaten him up lately. 

Concentrating on his breathing, calm and even, the intense noise of the room dies away. Seunghyun lifts his hand and jabs a finger hard into his liver. Nearby, someone yelps. Seunghyun jerks his head up. Dizziness and bolts of white pain make him have to screw his eyes shut. When he opens them, a boy comes into focus, sitting across and down from him. Tall, with a square face and a torso like a slab of rock. His short black hair is caked in blood all on one side and he's wearing a hospital green neck brace. He looks young, though it's harder to tell with the bloody nose and the bandage wrapped over his ear. 

Seunghyun picks up the ice cold bottle of water and presses it to his neck. The boy with the bloody nose shivers.


End file.
